If you go down to the woods today you’ll probably find Rannie out on a Camping trip, try the same activity in Norway & there’ll be a less friendly sound echoing our of the treeline than Mr. Turingan’s trademark chuckle.  There be Trolls in them thar hills and on College street at The Royal in Toronto all this week as Trolljegeren plays on the big screen to promote the DVD release on Tuesday.  This found-footage creature feature tells the not so fairy tale exposé of Hans a suspected bear killer being trailed by a trio of students.  The beautiful mountain scenery is perfectly picturesque as the film crew stalks him until he finally decides to come clean about the true nature of his profession.  The local legends portrayed in plastic as backcombed tufty hair luck charms are as accurate as Barbie’s waistline compared to a real life lady.  Giant hairy farting lumber klutzes are in fact reality & being controlled in national parks as well as covered up when over stepping the mark & boundaries to their territory.  The mythology is explained with wit &  plausible science and it’s not long before you’re meeting the bloated beasts.  Like Gremlin’s, Trolls can’t stand sun light which sees Hans equipped an arsenal of UV contraptions, most notably a tanning booth where he sleeps slathered in factor 50 due to fear of what lurks in the dark.  The titular Trollhunter is such a fantastic character that you could just listen to recounting his tales until the cows come (if they do at all with rumbling bellies under bridges).  Stifled by paperwork this old dog has had to his back teeth with the Troll Security Service and his unappreciated role in society so the students get to come along for the slime covered stinky jaunt to uncover the ultimate conspiracy their country has to offer. The video makers are the Scandinavian doubles of The Blair Witch kids though are thankfully filled with adrenaline rather than snot and tears.  Trollhunter is like the Euro Disney Jurassic Park with more clever girl moments than you can shake a severed Samuel Jackson limb at.

It got me thinking what the local legends would be in Canada.  Would these be native seeing how the country is so young?  Before I could make it to a museum for some research I got my wish from last week with the melding of horror & show tunes (I prayed for Final Gleestination) in The Legend of Beaver Dam.  My favourite hang out east at the Projection Booth lured me back with the second helping of Little Terrors.  Mythical and macabre were the theme of the evil evening with the highlights being Deus Ire - would work wonders for recruiting people to the cloth, Kingz - Phantasm meets The Matrix (Happy Birthday for yesterday Carrie Anne Moss!) and Ending the Eternal - snappy vampire dialogue sans sparkle.  The Legend of Beaver Dam is a fireside rock-horropera of awesomeness as camp counselor played by Sean Cullen sings a scary tale of Stumpy Sam  a killer in the ilke of Madman Marz or Jason Voorhees.  The splatter action of s’mores and gores hits every note & will have your inner bullied geek kid wanting a full feature or album of hits.