It lingers.

There’s that lingering flavour in my mouth, it’s not quite like smoking, but it’s that after taste. And even after a few days it’s still there, not wanting to be replaced, no matter what I put in my mouth. I can also feel the reminents of nicotine running through my veins. It’s that tired high taking it’s last effects through my body, it’s thick and slow like a new bottle of ketchup, not wanting to pour out of your system. I quit smoking on Sunday July 2nd. It was supposed to be July 1st, but I had several in my pack, and couldn’t bare not to finish them. I even set aside an emergency cigarette which I actually smoked just before midnight on Saturday night. There wasn’t much fanfare. I was at home, and I wasn’t even drinking. There wasn’t much cause for celebration.

It’s been over 10 years since I started smoking and in recent years I was up to a pack a day. Now I have had none. None for the past 60 hours. They say the first three days is the worst. I’m 12 hours shy and thoughts of having just one more smoke linger in my head. Really how harmful could one more smoke be? Last night before going to bed, I held an almost finished butt in my hand and contemplated lighting it, to revel on one more drag. Strangely enough it hasn’t been too difficult, that’s what I keep telling myself, I didn’t train my body by slowing down the intake of nicotine over the last few days, even though I have the prior insight of the withdrawl. I’ve gone cold turkey and haven’t used any aids. I bought several packs of gum to chew on, which I left at home today. I also contemplated purchasing a nicotine inhaler, which Jon used when he quit smoking last year. Basically, the next 12 hours is going to be a battle of wills.

So far I prevented myself from smoking 50 cigarettes and have saved 20 dollars.